Anger, Patience

MAINTAINING LOVE IS APROFOUND ART FORM; PEOPLE MUST BE PATIENT IN ORDER TO BE ABLE TO KEEP IT ALIVE

(From Mr. Adnan Oktar's live interview on Kral Karadeniz TV and Kanal Urfa TV, November 21^st, 2009)

ADNAN OKTAR: That is what lies behind people not being friends with one another. For example, ask people how many people they love, and they will say one or two; and they tell this as a mere formality; 40%-50% either trust or don’t. Maintaining love is an art form. The reason why people are unable to maintain love is that they lack patience. People can certainly make mistakes, or one can imagine they have made a mistake. You may change someone’s table out of good intentions, bringing another one in to replace it. But if that person fails to appreciate that, they may think you were jealous and wanted the original table for yourself... They may think you acted out of bad intentions, and will suddenly feel hatred and anger toward you and severe all further ties. But that is terribly unwise. We need patience in order to be able to maintain love. We need wisdom and patience. Someone with no patience cannot maintain love.

Note how people’s ties to others are very short-lived. There is a saying in Turkish, “Too much love brings quick split-up.” And this is also told in a song. But familiarity, or love, is a very excellent thing. The reason why familiarity can lead to people splitting up is that they have no patience and do not interpret other’s actions as being intended for the best and are unforgiving. But just a moment’s tolerance or forgiveness allows one to overcome that obstacle. Because there are many obstacles to love, hindrances. People think that love is very easy. They become exuberant for a moment and say, “Oooh, I love you so much.” Yes but love is a fine thing only if you can maintain it.

If a person truly loves, he must also know how to overcome those obstacles. Because he will inevitably come up against barriers on the path of love. One must know how to go round those walls. People smash straight into them and crash to the ground. If they get round the first one, then they will run into a second wall and smash into that. However, there are constant obstacles in love, and they must be overcome intelligently, one by one. With intelligence, determination and steadfastness. That is why Allah says that those who are patient attain this blessing. In other words, Allah bestows the Hereafter on those who are steadfast. There are a great many verses about steadfastness in the Qur’an. Verse 31 of Surah Muhammad says, “We will test you until We know those struggling among you and those who are steadfast and test what is reported of you.” Look, Almighty Allah reveals the whole secret. What does struggling mean? It means that one cannot obtain love through idleness. Love absolutely demands diligence. You have to make nice preparations for someone you love, don’t you? One has to care for his/herself, pay attention to the loved one, listen to what he says and choose one’s own words very carefully. One must not say the first thing that comes into one’s head. When speaking to someone one loves, one has to choose one’s words very carefully, and that calls for intelligence. It can be done with determination.

For instance this is struggling, a kind of making effort. One must not be momentarily angered by a careless word, but shrug it off and give the other person another opportunity... Because anyone can make a slip of the tongue when they are talking. People may say improper words. It is totally irrational to go off someone and leave them because of something they said. One has to bear with it, and that cannot be done without love of Allah. In other words, no human power can do it, and it is impossible without love of Allah, unless one loves someone as a manifestation of Allah and sees signs of takwa in them. Otherwise, the power of love is not enough and it soon comes to an end. That is why most people are unable to maintain love. They are always alone, but Allah tells us them be steadfast. People may be ill-kempt, but you have to be patient in the face of their odd behavior. They may behave coldly or in a way that does not reflect true love, but one has to be patient. Or things may happen for reasons that we cannot understand.

For example, I wanted to get here early but arrived late. There is wisdom behind that. What if the people here then demanded to know why I was late, whose fault it was? Who makes one late? It is Allah who makes me late. Why? For reasons of His own. When someone is late, one will say there is wisdom behind it and it is all for the best. Or one fails to get to somewhere one was going to. The car doesn’t start. People then get really angry, and that is also an obstacle to love. Fortitude toward Allah in the face of events lies at the root of love of Allah. One has to be patient in the face of things created by Allah, because He always creates everything for the best. People always look at things wrongly and irrationally, if you notice. They huff and puff, if you notice. Why do they get angry? He thinks things are going wrong for him, whereas the fact is that what is happening is all for the best, so that huffing and puffing is all for nothing. That is why those with no patience, those who therefore are unaware of Allah’s secret, are unable to maintain love.

Love is a profound art form. It requires a profound intelligence and fine detail. Look, Allah says “We will test you until We know those struggling among you …” What does test mean? It means He will keep making such things happen, meaning that they will not happen by chance. Who is responsible if you failed to get somewhere or to do something. Almighty Allah. Allah says He does it. People imagine that it is the other person’s fault, whereas it is Allah Who does these things. What we have to do is remain patient. They ask why you said whatever it was. It is Allah Who made you say it. It is all for the best, and person must be patient. Allah says He will test you. He says “It would have been better for them to have been steadfast until they approached you.” And “Allah is the most forgiving. So you must be steadfast in the face of what they say.”

For example, I am subjected to all kinds of slander. And what do I do? I persist in patience. I do not complain about how unfair it all is... It is in fact a miracle. People laugh at the injustice inflicted on me, because I am subjected to things that have never been seen before in the history of the Republic. Like the cocaine plot, the like of that had never been seen in the history of the Turkish Republic. No intellectual, no sane person had ever been put in a lunatic asylum because of his ideas and opinions. That had only ever been inflicted on Bediüzzaman, insha’Allah. That is all.

For instance, amazing things happened in our case. The Supreme Court took upon itself to hear and annul my case even though nobody had made any such request. Nobody had asked them to. And nobody objected. Such a thing had never happened in the Republic before. Interesting things always happen to me, masha’Allah, and this is of course all for the best, may Allah be praised. For example, normally when a case is annulled, say under Law 4422, the defendant should be tried on the lesser of the charges. For example, Article 220 is more serious than Article 313. But we were tried on the more serious charges, under Article 220. That was very interesting. There are more than 60 incidents, 66. Or is it 69? Masha’Allah, 69. Not just 1, or 2 or 3.

I was also acquitted in the Ebru Şimşek case. I was acquitted with the Court decision. There is the evidence now, just as property deeds. The ceilings of the two properties were compared, the ceiling joists. Mine is flat, as you know, while hers is joisted, and there are a lot of other similar technical disparities. But even though I was acquitted because of that and all the eye witness statements, the Court of First Instance, the same court I was tried at, says that the statements by Fatih Altaylı and Ebru Şimşek are mutually complementary. The court pointed to that as its justification, for which I am duly grateful. The list goes on forever. But a Muslim will regard this as being all for the best, of course. Because Allah creates it. Allah says, “He will test those who are steadfast.”

Did the Prophet Joseph (as) spend 7 years in prison because he had committed a crime? The women says he made an improper suggestion to her. The wife of the governor in whose house he was living. He said he would never do that, that he feared Allah. But they sentenced him to 7 years, and off he went. Why? It is a test. What does Almighty Allah say? Look. “We will test you until We know the struggling among you…” Allah later made him a prophet. Because He revealed himself to him. He first shows him His superior moral values. He showed him who He was, His might. He told him to be patient before his Lord’s command. Allah says, I take refuge in Allah from satan, “So wait steadfastly for the judgement of your Lord.” When Allah creates something, we will show patience towards it, insha’Allah. He says, “Be steadfast in the face of what they say and cut yourself off from them – but courteously.” “Be steadfast for your Lord,” says Allah in Surat 74, verse 7. “Be of those who recommend steadfastness to one another, who recommend compassion to one another…”

Look, recommending patience to one another. Allah’s command is for everyone to be patient. We will say, you be patient, and we will be patient, too. And what will we also recommend? Compassion. Be compassionate and forgiving, we will say. That is what we do. Allah describes this as a feature of believers. “Only those who have faith and do good works…” Look, believers who do good works. Sincere people. People ask what is special about sincerity. They say, “I am sincere”. But sincerity is no easy thing. When you are sincere you face all kinds of problems. A sincere man is plagued by troubles, day and night. It is very difficult. Sincerity requires cordialness, enormous hard work and activity. “They who advise one another of the truth…” He tells us to be sincere. “.. and they who advise one another to steadfastness.” Everyone will advise everyone else to be patient.

That is why everyone is so aggressive out on the streets, because this is regarded as unimportant. People tell others to get out of the way, waving their hands at them from their cars. One then challenges someone else to come and say that to his face. And the other person does, and the fists start flying, and then guns become involved, whether legally carried or otherwise. So what if someone has made a gesture toward you, you can send a greeting back and go on your way. Why prolong the issue? You thus retain the moral high ground, as they say. You need to be patient there, and affectionate. Because at the end of the day, Allah is testing you. What point is there in resorting to killing and all that disgrace? You are hurting a soul bestowed by Allah. The reward is a lifetime of suffering here and Hell for all eternity in the Hereafter. Apart from Allah’s forgiveness, that is all a terrible infamy. It is lack of patience that lies behind the scourges that afflict people in this world. Yes, insha’Allah.

Patience is more or less the basis of moral virtue. It is one of the fundamental issues. Because impatience lies behind the way that people go off one another, wars, conflicts and killings, people ending up in Hell, immorality and crime. It is a lack of patience and a refusal to see that everything is for the best. There are so many things requiring patience in the course of a day. Let me think of an example. I was going to go to Istinye today, to Istinye Park, to pick up some things, but I was unable to go. That is definitely all for the best, and I did not sit and wonder why I could not go there. I did not get angry or distressed.

For example, if someone I like is unable to come to see me as planned, that is also for the best. I don’t get angry and wonder why he didn’t come to see me. He will say that something came up, and that can happen to anyone, or else he will say he was unwell and could not come. I will not ask why he didn’t come or why I couldn’t get somewhere. I do not ask why I lost. For example, I was recently sentenced to 3 years’ imprisonment by the courts. I was neither angered nor upset. There is no rancor inside me and, as you can see, I am perfectly at ease, I have no such problem. But when we look at the files, what does the prosecutor say? He says the case file is empty, that there is nothing in it. The prosecutor says there is no element of any crime in it, and that is the court’s own prosecutor saying that. He says that half of the defendants have already been acquitted on the same evidence in the same file. And he says the rest of us should be acquitted, too. But I am patient in the face of all that. I did not get upset in any way.

The prosecutor said they had no lawyers, that their statements were taken under duress, for which reason they are inadmissible as evidence. But the court disagreed. I was patient and said, thank you very much. But I am not upset in any way. We were refused the right to a defense, in other words, but we just said, thank you very much, Allah be praised. The court also added an extra year to my sentence without saying why. And I said thank you very much for that, as well. It is all for the best, so why be upset? Is it not Allah Who created it? So why be distressed? There is goodness in it. Why did the Prophet Joseph (as) spend 7 years in prison? Should he have spent 7 years complaining, may Allah forbid? Complaining about why he was in prison? He was always quite content. He even became part of the prison management. That is in the Torah too. Prophet Joesph (as) was a great man. He was really clever, of course, and the Torah says that the prison governor used to ask his advice. When something happened they would come to ask his advice, what to do about it. The Prophet Joseph (as) was very high quality and highly intelligent. He was always useful to the people in there. That is why we have to bow our heads to Allah in complete submission.

It would be terribly immoral to get angry over something and question why it has not happened. It would be incompatible with morality and the Qur’an. I don’t mean that as an insult. But it would be a moral deficiency, something incompatible with the moral values of the Qur’an. Moral virtue means treating it with submission, bowing one’s head in complete respect to Allah. That is what love of Allah demands. May Allah forbid that Allah does something and a mere human being disapproves! It is like a lovely present coming from your beloved, and you not liking it. May Allah forbid! What a terrible thing. Everything from one’s beloved is beautiful, and you cannot say you don’t like it. And everything that comes from Allah is also beautiful and for the best. We cannot look on such things as evil.

One may fall ill all of a sudden. Almighty Allah has to test you, otherwise how is love to be understood? How can you establish someone’s love if he does not undergo hardship for the sake of his beloved or make any kind of effort? Let us imagine that someone is unwilling to give up his sleep for his beloved. He says, I am asleep. That is incompatible with love. Love should overcome sleep. Isn’t that right? For instance, someone may sit in the cold so his beloved can be warm. He may go hungry so his beloved can eat. That is love. That is how people are in Southeast Turkey. All of Anatolia and all of Turkey is like that. Go to their homes and if they have just one chicken they will cut it to pieces and put some rice with it, even though that is all they have. They will immediately offer it to their guests and be delighted when they eat it. Mardin, Urfa, Siirt, Diyarbakır, Bingöl and all the other towns are like that. The Black Sea is like that, and Central Anatolia. They rise to their feet to welcome you. They are respectful. They enjoy serving.

Is it easy to stand up when you see an elderly person? It requires a bit of effort, doesn’t it? But that is moral virtue, and an excellent thing, to immediately rise to one’s feet. My grandfather used to come in and we would all rise to our feet at once, making a lot of noise with our feet. There would be 30 or 40 people there, and the noise of all our feet as we stood up. That is a wonderful thing. We would immediately make room, and my grandfather would sit in the highest place. Nobody would speak before he did, and that is just good manners. But how do they treat elderly people today? They throw them in a corner and forget all about them. Someone dies, and after 10 days they begin to think someone might have died, due to the disturbance it gives around and inform the authorities. That is the fashion in Europe now.

We want to join the European Union, but we must teach them proper moral values as we go in. We will put these deficiencies of theirs right as we go in. We will go in as the leader of the Turkish-Islamic world. We will bring them food, money and opportunity. They won’t give food or money to us. The Turkish nation is a highly virtuous one, a very great one. It will never ask anyone for anything. We will strive for the good of others. We are givers. We will not enter the European Union in order to ask them for things. They will enter the Turkish-Islamic Union in order to ask things from us. We will enter the European Union with love and good manners, insha’Allah.

Jan 04, 2010

Taken From :

http://tr1.harunyahya.com/Detail/T/EDCRFV/productId/20058/MAINTAINING_LOVE_IS_APROFOUND_ART_FORM;_PEOPLE_MUST_BE_PATIENT_IN_ORDER_TO_BE_ABLE_TO_KEEP_IT_ALIVE